i've been coming to grips with this impression, and was able to talk it over with one colleague tonight so it is at the front of my brain.
everywhere i've been able to travel - especially places where i spent significant time spain, argentina, china - i've felt like an explorer and i've been welcomed by open people. i've really been able to explore a neighborhood, city, country independently with just a map or lonely planet book or a bus or train ticket.
Dhaka does not offer that kind of freedom. there's a different atmosphere here and i'm still figuring out why it feels like i can't walk freely, shop freely, appreciate freely here. it's for a number of reasons... i don't speak the language here. i'm settling down here in a more permanent way. there is school, this intense culture-within-a-culture that i'm part of. there are the social class/poverty issues. to some extent it probably has to do with religion and gender roles too.
my colleague is a really interesting woman who has lived in a worldly way - she's spent lots of time in india, nepal, latin america and more... (she's in her 50s now; when she was 25 she came to india to work with Mother Theresa) but Dhaka is different for her too, which surprises me. maybe Dhaka is similar to many other 3rd world places but maybe not. i'm interested in going to india and comparing that experience with this one
at the same time, without a doubt, i've met many bangladeshi individuals who are the kindest, most respectable people one could imagine. knowing more people is something i really want to do.
here is just one silly example of how the situation evolves: tonight we had a 'girls night', one of the teachers hosted a bunch of others to come drink Cosmos and kick back and gossip. how bizarre for me to find myself in bangladesh doing THAT. and though it was a nice event, i just feel torn that i'm not experiencing the place in a more genuine way. part of that has to do with the struggles of this place itself, and part of it has to do with being fundamentally associated with a big expat community here (the school serves this group, and it is this group).
i think i'll have to try a bit harder to get the whole bangladesh experience, that's all.
altogether separate, here is a little language note newly learned!
Bangla - the language of this region
Bengali - a word describing ethnicity (ethnicity shared with parts of India like Bengal)
Bangladeshi - something from Bangladesh itself; a word with a connotation of nationality
as in: The food here is Bengali and it was made by my Bangladeshi friend Ifthakar who speaks Bangla.
